So I went to the store and got new Craftsman pliers and some beads, and made stitch markers!Shown on a size 10 needle, for size reference.
Oh, nice! They remind me of the beaded weights that are attached to lace bobbins.
I'll be adding them in to the sweater I'm making-- since it's a raglan, I'll need all eight of the silly things at some point. I'll post an in-action pic as soon as I make some more progress on the silly thing.